It's that time of year again, A time to give thanks.
I guess I do have things to be thankful for and at the same time I say to myself then why are things the way they are? Why is my son still not home with us? Why does it seem like there is so much wrong with what's going on around us? And is there really anything to be thankful for....
Yes I do have things to be thankful for even though a lot of times it doesn't feel like it.
We've not seen our son in 11 months. It hurts and it makes us all so very sad. We know it can't be helped and we just pray we will be able to hold him again some day soon. I am thankful to be able to hear his voice when we can and that we have the joy of being his parents.
We recently were going to adopt a sweet little 4 yr old girl. Her mother lied and used us till she couldn't any more. Having her ripped from us like that was devastating. I can't stand what she has done to us and what she continues to do to the kids that she has with her. I pray for their safety and for her to pull her head out of her ass and to put them first instead of just passing them off on others while she lives a life she wants without being a real parent. I am thankful that we were able to bring some stability and love to a child that needed and craved it, even though it was for a short time.
There are so many homeless out there, not just as individuals but families. I saw a family of 4, they had 2 little girls, just babies.. It broke my heart to see them like that. I know a lot of people put themselves in that spot and I know for some it can't be helped. I am Thankful my husband has a good job and we have a roof over our heads and the kids are fed and clothed. We have what we need and at times what we want. I'm thankful for the ability my husband has to provide for us all, not only our needs but for our wants.
I am now in school thanks to my wonderful husband. He gave me half of his GI Bill so that I could go to school. Again my husbands job and his time in the service has blessed me. Going to school and it's paid for. Truly thankful for this.
I am thankful for my family and friends. I am thankful that I am a wife and mother to 8 wonderful kids. I am thankful to be a CCD teacher to some wonderful kids and I am thankful for God for blessing me with all that I have.
I know there is a lot of dark out there and it often seems like things aren't going to get better but I have to learn to look at things in a different lite and embrace that things do happen for a reason and there is a plan and that it's not mine. At the same time not use any of that as an excuse either. Ugh!!! Growing up seems to have some down falls...haha!
A day at the zoo!
Monday, November 25, 2013
Monday, November 11, 2013
Heart Break
Wow, It just feels like so much time has gone by.
Well my husband and I were offered the ability to adopt the sweetest little girl. Her mother has a lot of issues both medically and I feel mentally. We hadn't spoken to each other for a few weeks. She came to me and asked for my help. I asked her if she was considering putting up her daughter (again) for adoption and when she said yes I told her that we still wanted to do this. She said we were the only ones that she trusted with any of her kids and honestly that made me feel good, I was touched by this.
So we take her in as if she were ours all along. Since we all knew each other the kids were all excited she was here. Now I told her mother that we did not want to leave her out of anything. We wanted her with us on trips and family outings and she said yes that she totally understood and was fine with it. That made me feel a little at ease.
I took her to school and picked her up everyday. Bathed her, comforted her, loved her. Bought her toys of her own, new clothes and shoes that fit her properly. I was so emotionally tied to this little girl that called me mommy and my husband daddy and had more brothers and sisters now.
With deployment coming my husband wanted to sit down and find out where she really stood and begin getting things started with all the legal paper work. But she always put us off. Always an excuse for not being able to meet us even though she is around the corner from us. Never came to see her daughter at all. Only began really seeing her (Friday night - Sunday morning) when her 4 sons moved with their father and he 2 daughters moved with their uncle, he older daughter moved with her father, oldest daughter put up for adoption as she had her young and one son with a neighbor leaving her with one teenage son. My husband was getting the vibe that she was using us and never had any intentions on letting us adopt. I said to him I knew that was a possibility but prayed it wasn't going to happen like that.
Well her school notified me that she needed a dental appointment. I told her mom and the first thing she says is they don't have dental. Your husband is military you should have dental. Well her soon to be ex-husband never put her on and she swore that she would take care of it. I told her that my husband was going to call him. She said ok. He called and her soon to be ex never returned the calls. I told her that he hadn't returned the calls and she said that he wouldn't either. My husband was tired of waiting and called again. Left a message then called a gain and got him on the phone. My husband told him if he wasn't going to put her on dental to release her so we could put her on ours. He had no clue that we had the little girl and all the kids were spread out. Non of the kids were his so I know she didn't feel it was his business and she wanted the money for support. She got a place of her own but is at her boy toys home day in and day out. Mind you he lives around the corner from my house. She can't take care of her kids but can take care of his.
So I spoke to the school about what was going on. They see her and they even said they saw a huge change in her for the better. She was always ready to go and start her day when I brought her to school. They said that she had stability that she needed and thought it was awesome that we were doing all that we were doing with her.
Her Halloween party was just so precious. She had so much fun and was just so adorable. I loved spending that time with her. A few days later I was picking up our sweet little girl from school. They told me that because her mother did not fill out the paper work that she was suppose to have filled out for a while that she could not come back to school. The lady at the front desk said that she knew the paper work was needed and even spoke to her so it should be no surprise to her. I was so pissed. I was upset. All these responsibilities and she chooses to dress up like a hoar for a banquet instead of taking care of any of her kids. So I sent her a text saying it was important that we spoke. She said no. She then said she wasn't giving up custody and that her ex wasn't dropping her from DEERS either. She said her son was coming to get her. I asked if she was saying that she wouldn't be with me anymore... She said she was keeping her from now on. I was crushed. This women lied to me and hurt me again. But even worse, she used her child as a tool to use us and played with her little emotions. I told her to send him immediately cause I was going to cry. As soon as he walked through the door I lost it. I cried my eyes out and my husband was out to see so I felt like I had no one. We hugged and cried together, her son hugged me as I cried and my kids were also by my side as I cried. How can anyone do such a thing. To use people and their own family and to toy with their emotions. And just lie like it was no big deal. I pray she brings her back, but I think she will just find someone else to tell a sob story to and dump her else where.
This whole thing just sucks! I can't do anything about it, I can't save this little girl. She really has been an influence on us all. I just pray that she will be ok and that if anything happens her mother will bring her back to us. I just want her safe, just like the rest of my kids.
Well my husband and I were offered the ability to adopt the sweetest little girl. Her mother has a lot of issues both medically and I feel mentally. We hadn't spoken to each other for a few weeks. She came to me and asked for my help. I asked her if she was considering putting up her daughter (again) for adoption and when she said yes I told her that we still wanted to do this. She said we were the only ones that she trusted with any of her kids and honestly that made me feel good, I was touched by this.
So we take her in as if she were ours all along. Since we all knew each other the kids were all excited she was here. Now I told her mother that we did not want to leave her out of anything. We wanted her with us on trips and family outings and she said yes that she totally understood and was fine with it. That made me feel a little at ease.
I took her to school and picked her up everyday. Bathed her, comforted her, loved her. Bought her toys of her own, new clothes and shoes that fit her properly. I was so emotionally tied to this little girl that called me mommy and my husband daddy and had more brothers and sisters now.
With deployment coming my husband wanted to sit down and find out where she really stood and begin getting things started with all the legal paper work. But she always put us off. Always an excuse for not being able to meet us even though she is around the corner from us. Never came to see her daughter at all. Only began really seeing her (Friday night - Sunday morning) when her 4 sons moved with their father and he 2 daughters moved with their uncle, he older daughter moved with her father, oldest daughter put up for adoption as she had her young and one son with a neighbor leaving her with one teenage son. My husband was getting the vibe that she was using us and never had any intentions on letting us adopt. I said to him I knew that was a possibility but prayed it wasn't going to happen like that.
Well her school notified me that she needed a dental appointment. I told her mom and the first thing she says is they don't have dental. Your husband is military you should have dental. Well her soon to be ex-husband never put her on and she swore that she would take care of it. I told her that my husband was going to call him. She said ok. He called and her soon to be ex never returned the calls. I told her that he hadn't returned the calls and she said that he wouldn't either. My husband was tired of waiting and called again. Left a message then called a gain and got him on the phone. My husband told him if he wasn't going to put her on dental to release her so we could put her on ours. He had no clue that we had the little girl and all the kids were spread out. Non of the kids were his so I know she didn't feel it was his business and she wanted the money for support. She got a place of her own but is at her boy toys home day in and day out. Mind you he lives around the corner from my house. She can't take care of her kids but can take care of his.
So I spoke to the school about what was going on. They see her and they even said they saw a huge change in her for the better. She was always ready to go and start her day when I brought her to school. They said that she had stability that she needed and thought it was awesome that we were doing all that we were doing with her.
Her Halloween party was just so precious. She had so much fun and was just so adorable. I loved spending that time with her. A few days later I was picking up our sweet little girl from school. They told me that because her mother did not fill out the paper work that she was suppose to have filled out for a while that she could not come back to school. The lady at the front desk said that she knew the paper work was needed and even spoke to her so it should be no surprise to her. I was so pissed. I was upset. All these responsibilities and she chooses to dress up like a hoar for a banquet instead of taking care of any of her kids. So I sent her a text saying it was important that we spoke. She said no. She then said she wasn't giving up custody and that her ex wasn't dropping her from DEERS either. She said her son was coming to get her. I asked if she was saying that she wouldn't be with me anymore... She said she was keeping her from now on. I was crushed. This women lied to me and hurt me again. But even worse, she used her child as a tool to use us and played with her little emotions. I told her to send him immediately cause I was going to cry. As soon as he walked through the door I lost it. I cried my eyes out and my husband was out to see so I felt like I had no one. We hugged and cried together, her son hugged me as I cried and my kids were also by my side as I cried. How can anyone do such a thing. To use people and their own family and to toy with their emotions. And just lie like it was no big deal. I pray she brings her back, but I think she will just find someone else to tell a sob story to and dump her else where.
This whole thing just sucks! I can't do anything about it, I can't save this little girl. She really has been an influence on us all. I just pray that she will be ok and that if anything happens her mother will bring her back to us. I just want her safe, just like the rest of my kids.
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