Letting Go.....

There comes a time in every mothers life where she just has to let go...

I knew this, I was ok with this and I told myself I would be ok.  Well that time is now and I know it needs to be done so that my son can grow and be a great adult but I am so sad. I just wanna freeze time and keep him a little longer. I know, nuts..haha. 

I was going to meet my son at the MEPS station in Fort Lee, VA. 30 minutes before I got there He was in the office picking his job. I was suppose to be there for that.He called me with his choices: Machinist Mate, Cook on a sub or Bosons Mate (ya I can't spell it-ha).  Well CS (cook) was out. He did not want on a sub. BM is out, he's never heard anything nice about that rate so he was left with MM. He doesn't know anything about this job except it's hot and a lot of work.
 He missed MA (Master at Arms) by a point. He would have rather had that job. He was devastated. He said to the lady "Are you serious? I can't fix a car and you want me to fix a ship?" I laughed when he told me that. He said the the lady told him his scores were really high when it came to fixing pieces and sorting and asked him if he worked on cars and he said "no, I played with Lego's"-hahaha!!He really wanted something in computers. So I asked him if he was ready to go in and he said yes. So he took the MM spot with plans of cross rating in the future. Well he goes to boot camp the 21st of this month.  I was shocked but I was ok with it. I told myself that as a good mother I had to let him grow and that he needed this, he was ready.
I was talking to his recruiter and it hit me...He won't be home for his dad's Homecoming. And his dad will  be underway when he graduates so he will not be here when our son graduates boot camp. I lost it and cried the rest of the way up to Fort Lee. I just balled my eyes out. With his dad not being home I may not get to see our son graduate from boot camp either. I have no clue what I am going to do. I guess I will wait and see what happens. If I can't go then I know my dad will go and at least my son won't be alone and my dad can take lots of pictures for me.
So his next dilemma...School. His last classes are the 26th and he leaves a week before. So he's off to talk to his teachers to see if they can accommodate him. I know they will work with him. He's always been a good student.
God has a plan for us all. Sometimes it takes a little more work than others but thankfully my sons wait is over for phase one of his adult life.

I know I can do this. I fully support my son. I just wish that he and his dad weren't missing each other for these big events. And that I could keep my little boy a little boy. But no, he had to grow up. I am very proud of my son and I know he will be a great Sailor.
So for now I will cry but I will also be happy for him. He made the decision he needed to make and now is off to a great start!

4th of July

Every 4th of July that I've had has been so memorable.

I can remember growing up a couple of our 4th's were with my Aunt's and Uncle's. I think the one time we were camping. I can remember being in the woods and my dad throwing potato chips in the river, and he had me, my sister and my cousins  fish for potato chip fish and rock fish. We so believed him-haha!! My dad and uncle's stood there with their beers laughing at us. I don't think that any of us had a clue till much later what was going on. Later that night it was fire work time. i can remember they were illegal-ha! Well we were in the middle of the woods and in Oregon of course it was against the law to possibly set the forest on fire-ha! Well we didn't. But I remember the one firework being nailed to the tree and spinning in circles. I loved that. We would twirl around with our sparklers. And there were a few that flew in the air-lol!

Another 4th I remember was also in Oregon.  It was a make shift family reunion. We (my husband and kids) were living in SanDiego. My parents flew out to visit and we all drove up to Oregon.  I think I was pregnant with Gabbi, ya I was. We spent the4th of July at Diamond Lake. It was actually pretty cool. My first thought was Oh My Damn! Some of the people were well... I'll leave it at that-ha! I was pregnant and tired and really didn't want to sit in the grass to watch fireworks and then have to get up to chase Kyle. But when they went off, I loved it and Kyle stopped to watch the fireworks too.

My first 4th without my hubby in SanDiego kinda..well....SUCKED! Fireworks are illegal in California. I couldn't find anything, anywhere.  I was really bummed. but we were able to see them from our house.

All of our 4th's in Dahlgren were so much fun. We had BIG BBQ's and since living on the base we never had to go far to see the fire in the sky. I really do love the 4th of July.

Since being here my hubby hasn't been home for a single 4th. I've had  BBQ every year. Last year my lovely neighbors bought a ton of fireworks and set them off on our street nd we were able to see them from our front yard. So it wasn't that bad.

This time I am preplanning with my neighbor for a big 4th of July bash for next year. I can't wait. I hope that everyone will have a blast.

I guess I just want my kids to have awesome memories like I did.

Deployment

Ya, Deployments are never fun. I choose not to whine about it. I have things to do, kids to take care of. Is it gonna help my kids if I am crying and depressed? No, it's not. So we get 24 hours to be sad then we get over it. It's his job. And a great job!

I have friends that do nothing but bitch and moan about it. Complain that the Navy has taken their spouse, like deployments and underways are for shits and giggles. It drives me nuts. I just wanna say "Grow up and get over it".

My kids do great. Better than most adults. I always hear about other peoples kids crying and not being able to cope.. Or they blame their kids behavior on the fact that mom/dad is deployed. How about this, your a lazy parent and need to pick up the slack. My kids do fine. Ya they miss their dad. But they know he's at work. It's not that he wants to be away from our family but his job requires him to be and my kids know this.

This has been the most active deployment we have ever had. Normally nothing ever happens. It's just boring and busy-haha! Not this time. I have been in and out of Doctors Offices/ER's/Dental Offices. It's been crazy. Not to mention the amount of money on gas-ugh! The car was in the shop twice and the dryer broke. Thankfully I was able to repair the dryer!

This deployment has blown by us here at home.  And because of all the stuff going on the extra money we were making went to all the crap that came up...aka, life.

They grow too fast

So here my kids are, not all of them are babies but they will always be my babies.

They are so busy these days. Summer just made it's mark and we are all happy to be able to sleep in a little longer.
With this last week of school I was kept extra busy with taking DJ to and from school, Awards Ceramonies, Promotion Ceramonies and Doctors appointments. I thought I would never get off the road Friday. It was crazy.
Well we had Marissa's 8th grade promotion Friday and she and another student Sang for us all as the other students played instruments. It was lovely. She has a pretty voice but she's shy and you can tell cause she holds back. She really likes to sing but needs to work through her fear if she's gonna be really good at it.

Kyle went to JROTC Leadership camp. He had so much fun and came home with no voice. I really hope he got a lot out of it. I can't believe how much my son has grown.

The little ones are all getting so big. I can't believe all of their milestones they have made it through. From Nate's 1st pulled tooth to Alli being the loveable princess that she is. Immanuel is just turning into a big boy! Gabbi and Torri are turning into little women. It's all so sad.

It's too fast. They grow just way too fast.
All this growing while their daddy is out to sea.