A day at the zoo!

Monday, December 30, 2013

Acceptance

With 8 kids, the birthdays tend to just roll right in with no warning. But really, you know it's coming it just happens so darn fast.


Our oldest son is now 22 yrs old. We miss him so much. 6 days later we celebrated Christmas and tonight (1 day early) we celebrate our daughter turning 17 yrs old. Then next week our son will turn 9 yrs old. Needless to say we have a busy winter season as 1 more son will be 19 yrs old in February. 

With every birthday I of corse go back with my memories to their birth. Really, what mom doesn't think of the day their precious baby was welcomed into this world. Ugh, then I get all weepy cause the time just went by so fast. Well, did it? Or was I just too busy with other things? I often ask myself, what if... I always feel like something could have been done to hold on to each of them just a little bit longer. Maybe if I took my time or maybe I just rushed them to grow up too fast. Ok, who am I kidding? I know I didn't make anyone grow up any sooner than needed, yet I always feel like I could have done something different. 


I guess the only real different thing I could have done is accept. Accept that everything is going the way God is intending for it to go. It's just so hard. I look at all the good and think, Wow that's awesome! Then I look at all the bad and the heart break then I say, why? Why did God want that experience for us? I have such a difficult time accepting that everything happens for a reason. I mean I know it does but why so much negative from our loving God? I almost feel like I'm being punished. It breaks my heart. 


I don't know what I want out of this post. Maybe just to put out that acceptance is a hard thing to do and that I know I will eventually accept everything and not just pieces.


Thanks for listening :)

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